so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
