so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
