forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
