And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
