i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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