Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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