we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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