you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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