we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
