would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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