So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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