He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Green mimosas i think yes
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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