why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
