I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
