lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
