So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
