Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
two words...techno handjob
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
