You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
