i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
