Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i already hear my dad disowning me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Floor bacon is actually really good
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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