I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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