She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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