We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
