Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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