Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
