bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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