I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
