You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
