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Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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