god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
