Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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