I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
