No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's rum buckets o'clock
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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