GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
