i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
