it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
