Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
