I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
