Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
