Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
