butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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