is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
