Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
