My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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