nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
