Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
thus making me awesome and them whores
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
