can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
