whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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