I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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