What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
