Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
