It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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