no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
