Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
